-{ redgeek.net }-

“I’ve never been to an art exhibition before. I don’t really know what to do.”

“Ah, well then, it’s time we broaden your horizons,” I smile. “Don’t worry, you pretty much just drink wine and check out the art – photos tonight – and I might excuse myself briefly, if it’s alright with you, to try to pimp my work to the curator, but only for a moment.”

When we arrive, we’re already a couple drinks in, but it’s a dry bar at the reception, so I’m not in danger of embarrassing myself the the curator, who, as it turns out, is also the owner and a presenting artists. We do the quick introduction, trade cards, and since she’s not terribly receptive (although she doesn’t know me from Joe), I excuse myself to peruse the works with K.

K is a girl I’ve been out with a few times, but only in a group, and she’s always been hot for a friend of mine, another guy in the group. I found it interesting that she called me last Wednesday, given the aforementioned fact, but she’s cute and intelligent, so I gladly accelerated her We should hang out sometime offer with How about this Friday? There’s and exhibition I’d like to check out.

So there we were side by side, staring at photos on the white wall.

“I don’t know what I’m looking for.”

In my book, that’s fine. Admitting your limitations, or in this case, just a lack of experience in one area of life, easily remediable, of which we all have at least a few, is far superior to pretense.

“Well at one level, it’s just a fundamental ‘Do I like it or not? Does it move me, or speak to me, or otherwise change or deepen my understanding of myself or the world?’ Or perhaps, ‘is it just plain fucking beautiful?’

“On another level, if you want to go there, but it’s not necessary, you can try to ascertain what the artist is trying to get across, or try to figure our why the piece does or doesn’t do it for you.

“Take this one, for example. To me, it’s just … flat. I don’t see the relationship between the subjects, or the negative space for that matter. It’s cluttered, just a collection of … stuff. Without focus, really. Your eyes want to drift out of the frame to something else.

“Now this one over here, I dig this. Se how low the horizon is, how there’s so much sky? It imbues a sense of space and potential, and the soft blur of the field and trees yield a dreamy, ethereal quality, although it’s muffled, like you’re an observer trying but unable to participate. The sky is the subject but only because of the minimal grounding of the land. Your eyes latch on to the horizon, briefly scanning left from the grove to the open field, but don’t find the subject, so they float upward into the clouded sky, and you’re left suspended, although slightly unsettled, limitless potential with a hint of uncertainty, the possibility of disappointment and depression.”

We lapse into silence, fixated on the photo.

“Of course, I totally pulled that our of my ass,” pulling the conversation back to the lighter side, “I have no idea what the artist was shooting for. I do the same thing with my own work.”

“No, when you say it, I totally see it, it makes sense, it’s there in the photo.”

“You’re right, it is in the photo, or rather, it’s in one interpretation of the it. I mean, art by it’s very nature is perceptual. Like I said, when people ask me about one of my pieces, this is how I answer. Yes, sometimes I’m looking to capture a particular mood or message, but sometimes that’s just where I start and not where I end. Or, a lot of the time, I’m just struck by the the image afterward, and I have to sit and ask myself why I can’t look away. And since I work in digital, sometimes that happens on the spot, right there on the little screen, I find what I’m looking for, and re-shoot, modulating what I think will improve the presentation, refining the found message.”

This perception permeates my life, I use the same feedback loops in my code, my martial arts, my writing, and obviously, my photography. I use it in my platonic relationship as well as romantic.

Why am I friends with him, why do I like her? It’s not predicated on the initial connection, or first impression, although that has an effect, like setting up the initial conditions, but it is swayed more by the recognition of evolving perception. What I see today affect what I see tomorrow, but does not derive it. The system is too complex and is constantly re-evaluating and observing itself, but at the present moment, now, it is my reality, the one I’ve chosen to create for myself.

But I always remember the other half of me, the me that’s watching me in the background, that this is just my current perception, and I can change that reality when necessary. This is also one of the levels of Ninpo beyond simple punching and kicking.

It’s not a cop out, or unwillingness to commit or wholly experience life – it’s not doublethink. I act on this reality (but realize I may be wrong) and I’m fully committed to my actions, and these actions manifest in consequences, in things that neither you nor I can ever change. I realize that is is my current interpretation of my knowledge base, I’m free to change my interpretation and expand my knowledge base any time I want, and this changes my reality – my thoughts and actions. I experience reality as that which I am, and that which I can change, again, I am a system thinking of itself. I am the author, my will manifests. Generally, that’s a good thing for everyone involved, but if it comes down to conflict, I highly recommend staying out of my way. You don’t want to be in the middle of that reality change.

And since you’re probably wondering, yes, the rest of the date went well, in terms of much talking and laughing, but I don’t think either of us really felt a connection beyond platonic. And I won’t change my reality on that unless she indicates that she’s changed hers (or perhaps, I just read her wrong.)