Mouth of the Married Man
A piece of insight from a married friend of mine: “Guys never want to get married, until they meet the right girl, then everything changes. Girls want to get married even before they’ve met the guy.”
From the guys’ point of view, it certainly rings true. And based on the conversations I’ve heard when I’ve been the only guy hanging out with a group of girls, it’s not far from the truth for them either – at least for those small samples. Even when single, they occasionally chat about how they want they’re going to configure the wedding, where the honeymoon will be, what colors, dress, type of cake, etc. – something my guy friends and I have never once discussed, or even thought about as far as I know.
What is it in our culture that’s elevated to ceremony of pairing to eclipse that of the act of two people pairing? Certainly it can’t be personal experience, as friends who’re daughters of both divorced and married parents seem to have the similar aspirations on that front. Media? Celebrities don’t exactly have a great track record with respect to the everlasting unions. Perhaps just inextinguishable optimism?
A divorced acquaintance, who’s a wedding planner by trade, remarked to me recently, “Your first wedding you want to be perfect. Ridiculously expensive, big church, synagogue, whatever, opulent reception, the works. The second one? Good friends and family on a hilltop or beach. That’s all.” It makes the whole LA-style phrase of “practice marriage” seem a whole lot less cynical.
That said, most of the girls I’ve had serious relationships with have fallen into the exception to that generalization. Perhaps that’s representative of some congruency of personality that sustains the relationships.
On the wedding tip, in Sept I’ll be attending the wedding of a college friend of mine, and it sounds it’ll be one of the coolest, most personal, unpretentious weddings ever:
This will be an outdoor affair and the sun will still be high enough in the sky that you may want sun protection. We advise that attendees bring sun protection in the form of hats, sunscreen, shades, etc.
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And when we say casual, we mean casual … flip flops are not out of the question. [Groom] might even be wearing them! But if you feel more comfortable wearing a suit or tuxedo that’s fine as well. The entire event will be on grass abutting the beach. You will never have to touch sand unless you want to … although it will only be steps away.
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The reception will begin at approximately 6PM a short walk north from the site of the ceremony. Guests will be provided a selection of Tapas and plenty of the beverage of your choice – from water to sparkling grape juice to beer to wine to mixed drinks. We will provide either a place to crash on the grass outside our tiny pad, or transportation home for all as needed.
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Gift Registry
We don’t have one.
With the price of gas, the amount of money being spent to come out here and stay the weekend is more of a gift than we could ever ask for! We look forward to celebrating this occasion with our friends and families!
The schedule of event includes things like “9:00 AM, Morning Surf” and “7:35 PM, Bouquet Toss, or some other silly wedding ritual…” followed by a tide forecast for the day.
Yeah, [bride] and [groom] rock. Doesn’t sound like they need a practice marriage. Good for them.