Mantra

January 30th, 2006

While we’re on the subject of mudra, let’s check out mantra in my life for a bit. (Will mandala be forthcoming? Those in the know, know….) I was browsing through some back posts of Charming, and a particular post regarding the power of song, as pertained to relationships, struck me. She noted how just about everyone she’d fallen for had a song, a few minutes of vibration, that was able to conjure all the happiness and pain and heartache in a moment and transport her back to that relationship. Perhaps some song that happened to be on the radio when she first realized she was getting emotionally attached, or something that represented the relationship all too well, or just generally captured some essence of herself. (My apologies if I don’t accurately portray your perception here, Charming, but it’s colored by my own glasses.)

She also disclosed that she didn’t generally tell the guy what their song was. I thought it an interesting parallel to cultures that would not utter the true names of their god(s), as the name, the vibration, contained power. To invoke the name of a god was to instantiate power – it changed their mental mindset. Perhaps more resolute of will or strength or virtue, but a change that manifests in action (or restraint) in the physical world. Furthermore, the true names were shielded from outsiders, lest those unworthy debase the name, invoke it without proper etiquette or preparation, or otherwise defile the god, as defiling the true name also defile the god. And to give such power to an outside was to give them power of you, over your lord. Hence the names were secret and only alluded to by all but the insiders.

She recalls why she doesn’t tell the guys of their songs, that to hear to song unexpectedly in some bar where she and the ex may be hanging out simultaneously would cause awkwardness and mar the evening, is analogous to this imparting of power. That sound would affect her evening, regardless of his reaction to it. She’d be compromising her own psychic state, just because she knew that he knew. As proof positive, in the one case where she did yield the name of one such song to a crush, he practically dismissed it out of hand – he defiled the song, the sound, the vibration, the mantra, and ultimately, her.

For myself, I’ve always compiled mantras, some to myself – sort of an acoustic journal – and many to various girlfriends along the way. In my case, I intentionally give the compilation to the girl. I sink myself in it, going so far as to create CD (or cassette, way back when) covers and liner notes. For me, it’s this act of sharing that bonds the relationship together, even if some of the cuts aren’t appreciated or even apropos until I describe why the track is present. We become a duo bound in threads of resonance. Of course, after the relationship sours, I’m subject to the same heart-wrenching discord or loving appreciate when I hear the songs again, just like Charming. Perhaps there’s a little masochism in there for me, or naive nostalgia, or an attempt at appreciating where I was and where I am now.

And sometimes it just ruins the song for me. Perhaps Charming is on to something.

For your ridiculing pleasure, I present selection of past playlists (don’t ask why on some of these, they have too much context to enumerate here). It’s intersting to see the evolution, as well as some songs accrue a multitude of memories that are expressed simultaneously when the track pops on my iPod.

For M:
The entirety of Faith No More’s The Real Thing

For K:
Sauuvignon & Sapphire

  1. Cowboy Junkies - Blue Moon Revisited (song for Elvis)
  2. Mazzy Star - Fade Into You
  3. Air - All I Need
  4. Van Morrison - Moondance
  5. Beloved - Scarlet Beautiful
  6. Portishead - It Could Be Sweet
  7. Medeski, Martin & Wood - Lifeblood
  8. Greensboro Lane - Daylight
  9. Miles Davis - Rouge
  10. Morcheeba - Part of the Process
  11. Patsy Cline - Back in Baby’s Arms
  12. Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World
  13. Rockers Hi-Fi - What a Life!
  14. Sould Coughing - True Dreams of Wichita
  15. Paul Simon - Graceland
  16. Morphine - Cure for Pain
  17. Billy Holiday - I Cover the Waterfront

For N:
Focuslip

  1. 10,000 Maniacs - These Are the Days
  2. Dido - Honestly OK
  3. Cowboy Junkies - Just Want to See
  4. Bjork - Hunter
  5. Simon & Garfunkel - Scarborough Fair/Canticle
  6. Tori Amos - Silent All These Years
  7. Fiona Apple - Never Is A Promise
  8. Cowboy Junkies - Angle Mine
  9. Portishead - Sour Times
  10. Bjork - I Miss You
  11. Massive Attack - Teardrop
  12. Haujobb - Vanessa Briggs
  13. Die Form - The Hidden Cage
  14. Klinik - Touch
  15. Die Form - Lonely Heart

For M:
Midpoint Addiction [CD 1]

  1. Olive - Miracle
  2. Red Delicious - Want Me
  3. Supreme Beings of Leisure - Under The Gun
  4. Leftfield - Original
  5. Beth Orton - Stolen Car
  6. Esthero - Anyways
  7. Silverman - How Cruel
  8. Artefact - Purefication
  9. Olive - Not Alone
  10. Silverman - Gun At My Head
  11. Sabotage - La Lune
  12. Supreme Beings of Leisure - Never The Same
  13. Red Delicious - Vertigo
  14. Autour de Lucie - Salon L’Humeur
  15. Tricky - Bom Bom Diggy
  16. Esthero - Breath From Another

Midpoint Addiction [CD 2]

  1. Autheur de Lucie - Immobile
  2. Esthero - Half A World Away
  3. Kikiwest - Creeper
  4. Beth Orton - Stars All Seem To Weep
  5. Olive - This Time
  6. Sabotage - Goddess
  7. Supreme Beings of Leisure - Truth From Fiction
  8. Nelly Furtado - Baby Girl
  9. Red Delicious - Casualties
  10. Fur Ones - French Bread
  11. Olive - Safer Hands
  12. Red Delicious - Eden
  13. Esthero - Heaven Sent
  14. Beth Orton - Central Reservation
  15. Supreme Beings of Leisure - Ain’t Got Nothin’
  16. Girl Next Door - Gorgeous
  17. Esthero - Indigo Boy
  18. Silverman - Love Me Too

For Y:
Moxione: Increshment [CD 1]

  1. Lamb - Gorecki
  2. Portishead - Only You
  3. Delerium - Innocente
  4. Mono - Life in Mono
  5. Hooverphonic - 2Wicky
  6. Bjork - Hunter
  7. Czech - I Do Believe
  8. Lida Husik - Just Like Candy
  9. Chicane - No Ordinary Morning
  10. The Orb - Little Fluffy Clouds
  11. Haujobb - Less
  12. Die Form - The Hidden Cage
  13. Nicolette - Song for Europe
  14. Lamb - Bonfire

Moxione: Postifix [CD 2]

  1. Portishead - Roads
  2. Lamb - Softly
  3. Everything But the Girl - Before Today
  4. Chicane - Autumn Tactics
  5. Morcheeba - The Sea
  6. Delerium - Fallen Icons
  7. Bjork - Joga
  8. Massive Attack - Dissolved Girl
  9. Hooverphonic - Battersea
  10. Czech - Untitled
  11. Everything But the Girl - Five Fathoms
  12. Die Form - Lonely Heart
  13. Qntal - Ad Mortem Festinamus
  14. Stella Maris - Angel-ina

For A:
Shira Saya [CD 1]

  1. The Cure - A Forrest
  2. The Pixies - Subbacultcha
  3. Klinik - Touch
  4. Boom Boom Satellites - Push Eject
  5. Mouse on Mars - Actionist Respoke
  6. Mu-ziq - Burst Your Arm
  7. Autechre - Clipper
  8. Radiohead - Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors
  9. Aphex Twin - Vord Hosbn
  10. Datach’i - Cold Shift
  11. Coil - Teenage Lightning
  12. Squarepusher - E8 Boogie
  13. Infinite Posse - Funky Disco
  14. Muslimgauze - Rattan Kiss

Shira Saya [CD 2]

  1. Plastikman - Psyk
  2. Boom Boom Satellites - Batter The Jam No 3
  3. Radiohead - Idioteque
  4. Aphex Twin - Mt. Saint Michel & Saint Michaels Mount
  5. Oval - Deft
  6. Datach’i - Merrily We Roll Along
  7. Xingu Hill - Headhunter
  8. Autechre - Leterel
  9. Muslimgauze - Vanilla Jellaba
  10. Mu-ziq - Tango n’ Vectif
  11. Muslimgauze - Sikh Out
  12. Klinik - Blanket of Fog
  13. The Cure - Secrets

For (a different) A:
500 Miles [CD 1]

  1. Soul Coughing - True Dreams of Wichita
  2. Postal Service - Such Great Heights
  3. Trick - Love Cats
  4. The Pixies - Subbacultcha
  5. Cake - Short Skirt/Long Jacket
  6. Michael Penn - No Myth
  7. Simple Minds - Don’t You (Forget About Me)
  8. Olive - You’re Not Alone
  9. Massive Attack - Safe From Harm
  10. Lauryn Hill - Can’t Take My Eyes Off You
  11. Maggie’s Dream - Love & Tears
  12. Jonny Lang - Breakin’ Me
  13. Nina Simone - I Put a Spell On You
  14. Cowboy Junkies - Sweet Jane
  15. Portishead - Roads
  16. Mazzy Star - Look on Down from the Bridge
  17. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

Fairyland [CD 2]

  1. Faithless - Postcards
  2. Tricky - Dear God
  3. Rockers Hi-Fi - Going Under
  4. Tosca - Honey
  5. Portishead - Tribute to Monk and Canatella
  6. Autour de Lucie - Chanson San Issue - Ne Vois-tu Pas
  7. Audioslave - I Am the Highway
  8. Frou Frou - Breathe In
  9. Czech - Untitled
  10. Chicane - Autumn Tactics
  11. Massive Attack - Unfinished Symphony
  12. Pentatonik - Green
  13. VNV Nation - Standing
  14. Lamb - Gabriel
  15. 10,000 Maniacs - Verdi Cries

Chronology [CD 3]

  1. 10,000 Maniacs - How You’ve Grown
  2. Dave Brubeck - My Favorite Things
  3. Counting Crows - Accidentally in Love
  4. Autour de Lucie - Immobile
  5. Squeeze - Cool for Cats
  6. Cake - Jolene
  7. Elton John - Tiny Dancer
  8. Cowboy Junkies - Angel Mine
  9. Soul Coughing - City of Motors
  10. Traveling Wilburys - Dirty World
  11. Dave Mathews Band - Lover Lay Down
  12. Psychedelic Furs - Until She Comes
  13. Nina Simone - Love Me or Leave Me
  14. Beth Orton - Central Reservation
  15. John Coltrane - Giant Steps
  16. U2 - With or Without You
  17. Suzanne Vega - Blood Sings

Shinsei Blossom [CD 4]

  1. Tricky - Bad Dream
  2. Perl Jam - State of Love and Trust
  3. Jewel - Love Me Just Leave Me Alone
  4. 10,000 Maniacs - These Are the Days
  5. Czech - I Do Believe
  6. Soul Coughing - St. Louis is Listening
  7. Big Audio Dynamite II - Innocent Child
  8. Frou Frou - Holding Out for a Hero
  9. U2 - One
  10. Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes
  11. Faithless - Miss U Less, See U More
  12. Ben Harper - Forever
  13. Lamb - Gorecki
  14. Chicane - Low Sun
  15. Tenacious D - Fuck Her Gently

Wow, that was longer than I expected. (And, keep in mind, each has original cover art.) Some of these are from a long time ago, but they still affect me today. I think Charming summed it up best: “Heartbreak comes in bits and pieces in different moments all throughout your life. But sometimes, for about three minutes, it comes all at once.”

Posted by barclay Filed in LUE

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