Anticipation
A few days ago L—- mentioned something that reminded me of something important. She was talking about how she’s 27, and doesn’t really have a hobby; some activity that she does outside of work that she looks forward to, some thing that isn’t a chore. Something like my martial arts. (Granted, I think of my martial arts as so much more than a hobby, but I don’t expect anyone but myself to understand that. And although I do love photography and writing as well, they’ve always played second fiddle to the arts.) She expressed how she admired how dedicated I was to it, and she decided to look for one; perhaps re-visiting hobbies from the past. I applaud her.
It reminded me that people want what I have. Not necessarily the punching and kicking and meditations, although some do want that, but the passion for something outside of work and responsibilities and the ordinary; something that drives you enough to follow through long term. I forget that not everyone has this. I forget about the time I was still looking for it, and how lost I felt.
At a basic level, it provides a sense of accomplishment and physical manifestation of change and evolution, but beyond that, at a more fundamental level, there is a sense of positive anticipation. I look forward to training, to the new things I’ll be taught and the things I’ll discover. Just last weekend, while I was training with Kurt, I connected a couple of dots, forming a small epiphany. I noticed a whole new world to explore within the art. I look forward to investigating this further. It reminds me that what I’m doing today is in preparation for more joy and insight tomorrow. That tomorrow will be better than today, minor vicissitudes of life excepted.
Some people are still looking for that world that intrigues them so. A world that drives them enough to spur an extended exploration. I’m lucky I found one that works for me. Once again, a small, offhand comment was more significant to the receiver than the sender probably realized.
What do you look forward to each day? What keeps you from sinking into a depressive mire, because you know that it will keep you buoyant? Don’t have anything? As Ferris Bueller said, “You’re not dying, you just can’t think of anything good to do.” Solution? “If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.”