Shove your Pronoun up It
Whenever I get a request to fix something (inevitably computer-related), at work or otherwise, I all-too-frequently get the request in the form of “It doesn’t work.”
Well, gee, thanks. That gives me a lot to go on. How about cluing me in to what “it” is? Or what you were doing, or trying to do? Perhaps describing what the process you were going through? How about giving me some context? Obviously, you were expecting something to happen, that didn’t, or perhaps something completely different happened. I need this information to help you. Help me to help you.
Can you imagine going into your doctor, and saying “It doesn’t work. Can you fix it?” Can you imagine him or her responding, without even looking at you, “Well, you tore your rotator cuff, so I’m going prescribe Naproxen and send you to this physical therapist.” Hell no. But if the doctor did, would you even trust the diagnosis? So why do you assume that I know what the hell those pronouns are referring to?
Imagine sitting at home, relaxing and reading a book. The phone rings, and your friend is on the other end asking for help. They quickly present their issue to you in one sentence: (Followed immediately by “Can you fix it?”)
Painter Friend: “The house won’t paint.”
Doctor Friend: “The wound won’t heal.”
Photographer Friend: “The picture won’t take.”
Mechanic Friend: “The car won’t move.”
Accountant Friend: “The numbers won’t balance.”
Clerical Friend: “The folders won’t file.”
Farmer Friend: “The crops won’t grow.”
Pilot Friend: “The plane won’t fly.”
Construction Friend: “The building won’t stand.”
Professor Friend: “The class won’t teach.”
Seem over-simplified and contrived? Not really. That’s exactly the perspective us “computer people” have when you ask us to fix something that “doesn’t work.” So, next time you me to fix your computer, give me some context. Think about your profession, and what sort of background you’d need to solve a problem, and find the analogous information.
I’ll be much more inclined to help you.
I agree – that’s how conversation should work. But it happens so frequently, with respect to computer problems, that a follow-up “what seems to be the problem” only produces mutations on “it doesn’t work,” without further elucidation. It’s the preponderance of those cases that rub me the wrong way.
And yes, I do feel a bit impatient right now. I need a good vacation. 